28 May 2012

Bella Italia. Isola d'Elba

Liebesfest. Lovefest. People from around the world meeting in one place to celebrate my friends' happiness. Because weddings are overrated, just like marriage.

With the weight of worries from last two months, all piled up emotions, exhaustion, stress and a clear plan to just rest I came to Elba.

What I found, outgrew all the expectations.

The weather mild, perfect combination of temperature, rain and sun, nature of the island full of sights and smells creating a cloud of a dream.
The sea so gentle, salty and calm, making skin soft, soaking into hair and cooling down.
Amazing food, the simplest and most delicious vegan dishes I've eaten since ages.

The feeling of being surrounded by friends, those I love, those I feel good with and the new ones, I met here, because they just came for the same reason. To celebrate, to rest, to share, to have fun. But at the same time I was completely on my own, just sitting next to people I felt good with, spending time and exchanging what we wanted to exchange at the moment. Talk, language lesson, building a kite, Grinberg massage, cooking, or even just reading together. Just sitting in sun on three chairs with three books.

I was never so deep in connection with myself as then. I let the disordered thoughts and feelings float through me without stopping them, without thinking and feeling them. For all the 7 days I didn't figure out even one simple solution, idea or attitude. That came after, in the train, on a way back home.
But I was myself, no more, no less, just my body and mind, independent from anything and anyone, free from relationships, love, sex, responsibilities, ideas.

Swimming in the sea and sleeping topless on the beach.

Never so much in one piece, so quiet and confident. I came back with this feeling and clang this in all the bad moments which came after.
I remind myself this state every time I feel like I'm falling apart.

I imagine myself swimming in the sea, so salty and quiet. In one perfect piece.

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