I don't remember when I grew up so big to treat everything as a political act. Or at least as a chance to one. When life went so serious, that I couldn't spend time on just having fun, because all of this activities such as not-political movies, my beloved XIX century literature, parties, riding a bike, walks, seem to be so outrageous waste of time. Since when I can only watch documentaries, read political/ feminist/ queer/ anarchist/ animal rights/ social involved books or zines (the best in English, to train language skills), go to solidarity parties (because on other, since I don't drink nor smoke there's not much to do anyway), ride a bike to certain places as a way of transport, jog for health reasons instead of walking – to feel fair with my time budget. When life became so complicated?Actually, I DO remember when that happened. And it was not so long ago.
Now, few days ago I had a chance to meet group of young (mostly under 25) people, mostly just having pure, healthy fun and to live with them for over a week.
I almost forgot, that it's nothing unusual to eat meat, that I have to define what „squat” or „left wing movements” are. I was expecting the worst and I discovered that despite everything I'm still willing to learn. I feel like I've learnt one of the most important things in my life: do not underestimate nor waste any experience, anything I meet on my way can be enriching. That seems so obvious, but still I surprise myself.
I learnt even more. Where my social borders lay and how I already trained myself to not force them. And of course as my foreign socialization goes one, comes both progress and trouble.
The wayfarer's cliche reached me so unexpectedly: longing for new places, new languages, new friends, new homes as strong as after all the left behind.
I also don't remember very well, when I turned into a wayfarer …
Between all activities I managed to continue jogging. And after months of trying I found a joy in it. So, despite being in travel, I ran out of town, to the mountains so amazingly beautiful in light and Autumn. No matter how cold the air was, no matter how tired my lungs and legs get.
There is something in running what makes you clear. Not after coming home, stretching and shower, but just at the moment, between the breaths. I finally get to understand it. My friend asked me do I ran to get rid of frustration, too much energy or anger .
I run to be with myself, to forget about the longing.
I run the tears away.